Thoughts for a Monday evening...

I love Monday evenings. They're my only evening that I have a good amount of free time for myself since I work until 9 Tuesdays and Thursdays and then Wednesdays are community nights. Especially since I went away for the weekend, it's nice to have time to catch up. I realized if I update this more often my posts might not turn into hour long summaries of my life and I'll be able to write more detailed and thoughtful entries that will hopefully be more interesting.

Sunset was gorgeous today. It was like God was sending me a personalized gift to enjoy. I was rushing out of work and I glanced to my left between the brick buildings that line the street as I was walking down the block. I did this because I wanted to see how far the sun had gone down to keep track of what time it gets dark nowadays. Behind these buildings there is always a good view of sunset because the land on that side of the street slopes gradually downward. The sight that I saw was absolutely breath-taking. The sun was right below the horizon, casting a warm yellow glow which then changed to orange farther out and highlighted the dark blue clouds which were surrounded by bright pink and purple sky. It was like the entire sky had been painted. But I didn't have time to stop so I continued up the one block to my bus stop. When I stopped to turn around and look at it, it had already gotten significantly darker b/c the sun had sunk that much lower. It was as though God had timed it perfectly so that the one second when I had time to glance in the right direction, it was at its most beautiful point. I almost missed the bus and had to flag down the bus to wait while I crossed the street. As I sat through the 10 minute ride home, I kept sneaking glances in the direction of the sunset and even though my view was blocked by trees, I enjoyed the slight changes in the color of the clouds I could see. It made my ride home strangely peaceful and I silently thanked God for this gift.

In less happy news, I am greatly saddened by the divide that continues to exist between my kids at work. We continue to hear about various fights that break out in the neighborhood from both the American kids and the Burundian refugees. It's like nothing had changed at all and we are completely baffled about how to fix the problem. I think it's going to have be a change that occurs on an individual basis, but we don't have time to sit down with each kid and explain to them the situation of the kids on the other side. But this is what they need - understanding, so they'll no longer be ignorant which leads to their anger and hatred towards other human beings who are kids just like them. I wish I could blindfold them all for a day and disguise their voices so they'd realize that they're all just kids. I'm trying to come up with activities that will build teamwork between the two groups without them realizing it. But they never want to play games or do anything that I plan for that matter. It needs to be something super fun that will keep their interest and that they won't think is lame. And the mingling has to be forced but they can't realize that they have to mingle. That's how focused they'll have to be on the task at hand. They're never that focused. I think I'm asking for the impossible. Anyone have any creative ideas? I'm open to any suggestions.

I've also been thinking alot about my kids' need to fight and be violent with each other, even if they're only playing and also their tendency to steal anything they can get away with even if it's something that has no use to them. I've talked about it with alot of my housemates and my co-workers. I think for the refugee kids it might be a refugee camp mentality. I can't even imagine what life must be like in refugee camps but I am guessing that there's this need to do whatever you can to survive. If something comes into your possession, even if it's by stealing, you keep it because you never know when you'll come across that thing again (whether it's food, clothes, electronics, toys, anything). Same with the fighting. You have to be tough in order to survive. And I can't even imagine how much violence they may have seen in their short lifetimes. And these two behaviors stretch from the littlest kids all the way to the teens, though the older teens don't tend to steal much and for them it's mostly snacks. I don't know how to curb either of these behaviors b/c they all already know it's wrong, but they continue to do it anyways. It's like they can't get it out of their systems. The stealing just worries me b/c it could get them into serious trouble in the future if they try it outside the CYO or with more valuable goods. But the fighting just saddens me. They are so violent in their everyday lives and they see it as completely normal. They're just kids. I want them to be happy and enjoy their childhoods and see goodness in all people. I guess the best I can do for now is to try to love them the best I can to show them these things through my actions.

Final thought...
I think I want to be an elementary school teacher...officially...for now. It's always been my fallback response to what I want to do and it's also always been my answer to that question "If you knew you could do anything without failing, what would you do?" I love kids and I love teaching kids and I think I'm good at it. And I've decided that there's nothing wrong with doing something ordinary. If you love it then that's all that matters. Now I just have to look into how to go about doing that. Though I still want to look into careers working with refugees b/c that's become so interesting to me. So yeah, we'll see.

That's all for now. Have a nice day/night!

Life...

Hi all -
again i apologize for the large gap between posts. here's why:

3 weeks ago, i was busy getting ready for the FC reunion which then took up most of our weekend. it went off with only 1 minor hitch (matt's computer died 1 hr before we were leaving for the event and it had the playlist i had compiled from alums and that he had worked on for 24 hrs all saved on there - but we used my computer and people enjoyed themselves just fine). it was great getting to meet a whole bunch of alums, and of course a bit overwhelming as well. unsurprisingly, i think i made the best connection w/the young children of the FC 2 people - most notably my new buddy sean who is 4....so cute. we also had a whole bunch of recent alums staying over our house all weekend and it was a blast to bond with them, especially last yr's group (minus ed who was greatly missed!). they plan to come back later in the year for a wine tasting bonding event! woohoo!

the following week, i worked probably 50 hrs or so b/c i volunteered to help at the refugee academy at my worksite. it's for kids who got here recently and haven't started school yet, mostly to teach them what american school will be like and a bit of esl too. i got put with the high school group (their ages range from like 15-18 but they all have to start as freshmen until they can determine if they should be placed in higher grades), which i was nervous about but they were awesome! they ended up rearranging the groups a bit so i only had the bhutanese teens who all speak pretty good english and 1 iraqi teen who kinda spoke english. even though i got moved around a bit and only ended up teaching my group for 2 or 3 days i really enjoyed myself. it was challenging coming up with things to teach them for 4 hrs straight each day when they were so eager to learn and i had just been thrown into the position with no curriculum, but i think they got alot out of it and now when i see them around the cyo we always say hi and most should be starting school very soon! it was a really long week though with all the extra hours i put in, but well worth it. there was also a bhutanese festival that thursday night which i got to attend briefly even though i was working with my teen group downstairs. got to try bhutanese food (similar to indian cuisine i've been told) and see some dancing and get a blessing by the eldest woman in their community (rice grains in red dye pressed against my forehead...so cool!).

then last weekend my bf mike came to visit which was awesome. it was the perfect fall weekend with uncharacteristically warm weather. on sat we spent the day w/eric and ashlee. we went to cayuga lake, stopped at a cute winery gift shop where we bought homemade fudge (yum!), and had buffalo wild wings for dinner. sunday we went to the apple festival in lafayette (cute but you couldn't do much if you didn't want to spend money), and then found clark reservation state park (beautiful, want to go back to hike there), then hung out at onondaga park back in syracuse (watched a wedding party take pics in the gazebo), then dinner downtown. monday we went to stella's diner for a midday brunch then spent the whole day at onondaga lake (not the same as onondaga park, and i'm glad i finally got to see this huge lake which i always see on the map and looks like it's practically in my backyard) and then came back for dinner with the house. it was a great weekend...sooo glad i got to see him finally and that it was the perfect fall weekend in syracuse.

this past week i hardly worked at all to balance out all the extra hrs from last week, which was awesome. so i guess i really have no excuse there for not updating. this weekend was amazingly relaxing, especially after the busy-ness of the previous 3. it was the first time in a long time that i felt like i could just do whatever i wanted for 2 days straight. only me, john, and ashlee were here so it was very quiet. i felt so productive b/c i got to watch a movie, help at a cyo coat drive (and talk to some of my bhutanese students and learn alot more about the process of coming to the us as a refugee...so cool!), go for 3 walks including one in downtown syracuse scoping out armory square and clinton square, go out to 2 bars at su which were cool, go to mass at holy trinity which was really nice and simple, make banana muffins, read up briefly on coming as a refugee to the u.s. and the specific situations of bhutanese, burundian, and burmese refugees, and write in my journal about my recent dream of starting a non-profit haha. sooo it was awesome pretty much.

oh and last thing, me, ashlee, and mary went to st. lucy's 2 weekends ago and it's this crazy progressive catholic church. it was awesome. the mass was so lively and interactive and non-traditional....basically nothing you'd expect from a catholic mass haha. i definitely want to go back. my favorite part was the feeling of acceptance and community. there were all different kinds of people from all different races there and they have a large deaf population and physically and mentally disabled population. and they all knew each other and loved each other. it was great.

so yeah, sorry for boring you with the last 3 weeks of my life. to summarize everything else very quickly: community is great, though not without its challenges. i'm loving the fact that i've been able to keep in touch with alot of people from fairfield so far b/c i miss and love you all! work is good, still challenging, but i think it's getting a little better...sometimes. and i'm still clueless as to what i'm supposed to be doing with the teen program and i feel like i have no direction but whatever, i'll figure something out. more meaningful and interesting entries to come, i promise. thanks for reading! have a great day!